Gaining Weight and Asking for Help

You may have noticed that I haven't been posting very much over the past few months.  The reason could be because this summer has been busy... we moved into our new house, work has picked up quite a bit including me traveling to Boston, we seem to have plans every weekend.... ya know, the normal kind of busy that comes with summer...  But I think the real reason is because I've been feeling guilty, a little down and probably even embarrassed. 

Coming off of the paleo challenge in February, I was so excited and optimistic about my future and my progress since last year.  I had found my groove working out, I was eating the healthiest I had ever eaten and was seeing the results.  Then for whatever reason, the momentum just stopped... I started allowing myself to enjoy drinks on the weekends, a dessert with my dinner and it just started snowballing again.  Just like it always has in the past.  

I shared a few blog posts talking about getting back into it-- (time to turn this thing around!), but the snowball just keeps getting bigger just like the number on the scale.  I have gained back 15 pounds.  I feel like that number keeps going up with every blog post.  

I know that I'm not making the same healthy decisions I was last year. I'm not making my health the priority.  I'm not so much making excuses, more like I just stopped putting forth the effort to lose weight.  I'm no longer excited to wake up every day to step on the scale and see the results of my hard work.  

Again... I feel guilty.  Guilty that I let my weight loss stall, guilty that I allowed myself to gain back 15 pounds, and guilty that I can't seem to get back to where I was.

I'm also embarrassed.  I was so quick to post about my successes... pounds and inches lost, workouts dominated... and now, I have nothing worthy of posting.  Just disappointment. I have so many people who have been supportive and encouraging and I just feel like I'm letting them all down.

When I expressed this to my husband last night, he agreed that my attitude and behaviors have changed this summer.  He told me that I'm no longer excited about the things that meant so much to me just a few months ago.  I completely agree, but don't really know how to get it back. 

I need help.

I woke up this morning not sure what to expect, and when I saw my husband, was definitely surprised.  Spike, who is an avid disc golfer, but not too big into running or your typical exercise routines, told me that things were going to change for both of us.  He had actually downloaded the couch to 5k app on his phone and already finished the first workout before I even got out of bed!  He told me that on my lunch break we were going to the grocery store to help us jump start getting back into clean eating. 

If you didn't know... this is a big deal.  I really think I actually almost cried.  I didn't realize it until that moment, how much I needed his help and support.  How much I needed someone to take my hand and help me find my way back to the happy, confident and excited girl I was so proud to be this past year.  

So this blog post is not like my last few.  I'm not promising that I will quickly get back to where I was, that I will report all sorts of wonderful news in my next post, or that I'm confident this is the last time I will struggle with my progress on the scale.  

I'm here to say-- the truth is, I AM struggling.  I'm working through this slump.  But I am feeling so much better about the future now that I have a partner that is in this thing with me.  I think that will make all the difference.  

I'll keep you posted on what happens next...