Today was my one-month check up appointment and I was very much hoping to get my band adjusted. For the first month, my band was just settling in, but had not had any saline injected into it to cause restriction of food nor has it made me stay full after I eat.
I have been eating more than I feel I should with the band, but that is normal according to some people on the Facebook Lapband Group that I have been talking to. They said sometimes it takes a few adjustments/fills before I will feel the restriction that makes me feel full for longer and after eating less.
At my last doctor's appointment, they said I would maybe wait until May to get my first fill, and I was nervous they wouldn't do it today even though I knew I was ready. The first thing I do when I get to my follow up appointments is fill out a bunch of paperwork.
I answer questions related to my diet, times that I eat, how much I eat and if I get hungry soon after. I identify if I have any questions or concerns I want to talk to them about and also include my exercise routine.
Today will mark my 16th day in a row of exercise-- I've been walking, running intervals/hills, going to crossfit(will be starting back up tomorrow), and have played tennis a few times. The only problem is that my left hip has really started to bother me, not allowing me to get comfortable at night when I'm trying to sleep and then today it has really prohibited me from moving around a lot. So I have an inflamed hip, which isn't that big of a deal, but because I can't take ibuprofin due to increase risk of ulcers, I am going to have to hope I can find some chewable Tylenol that will do the trick. My goal is to do some type of exercise 90 days in a row and I don't want my hip to get in the way of that.
Once the paperwork was done, I went back to be weighed. I had lost 4.6 pounds since my last visit for a total of 22.6 lbs since surgery. They said that it was good progress-- the typical weight loss is 1-2 pounds each week-- but I guess losing that 18 lbs up front gave me high expectations because I am anxious to lose much more.
Next, we talked to the dietician about how I've been tolerating my foods and about my protein and water intake. Protein is going pretty well, but water is where I struggle. I'm supposed to have 64 oz a day and I'm lucky if I get half of that in. That is a big focus area for me over the next few weeks.
The dietician agreed it was time for a fill and let the Surgeon's assistant know, who usually performs my check ups. She came in and explained how it would go and asked me some more questions about how much food I am able to eat compared to what I used to. I told her I am probably eating 60% of what I'm used to, but the goal is really to eat a lot less than that.
She said sometimes it is hard to find the port on the very first fill and they have to go over and get it x-rayed to find it. Luckily, that was not necessary for me. The only pain I felt was the needle that numbed my stomach. Then she got the saline shot out that was at least five inches long! When Spike saw it, he said "I don't really want to be in here for this." But the assistant told him that it's not bloody or bad and not a big deal so he stayed.
I didn't feel a thing and all of a sudden heard Spike say "Wow, that's cool!" The way they know they have made it to the port is they put blue dye into it during surgery. That way when they stick a needle in the port, the blue dye will pop up in the syringe and you know you've made contact and can insert the saline.
It literally took two minutes and then I was good to go. I now have to have full liquids for the rest of the day, soft foods tomorrow and then I can go back on my regular diet. I'm hoping this will at least get me eating a less amount of food and less often so I can meet my goal of losing 17.4 in the next five weeks. It will be tough, but I'm ready! :-)
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
Friday, April 25, 2014
Month One Results
Today marks one month from when I had surgery or as some others call it, my one month "bandiversary." In the past day or so I've been obsessed with looking up different lap-band and weight loss surgery hashtags and reading people's stories and seeing their transformation pictures on instagram.
Even though I know the goal of this surgery is for me to lose a whopping 100 pounds, I can't really picture myself like that. I can picture myself twenty pounds from now-- which hopefully is the end of May in order for me to reach my next goal. But not 100... that just seems like such a dream and too far away.
I'm hoping to be pleasantly surprised.
Anyway, today on my one month bandiversary, I weighed and measured myself for the first time since the clear-liquid diet started three days before my surgery:
-- Down 21 lbs.
-- 3.25 inches off thighs
-- 3.25 inches off arms
-- 2 inches off waist
-- 2 inches off hips
-- 1 inch off bust (sorry, Spike) :-)
So, not too shabby, but I really have to kick up the workouts. AND!! get my band adjusted. They haven't actually put any saline into the band to make it smaller yet so I am not getting full by eating a cup of food and get hungry an hour or so later.
My next appointment is on Tuesday of next week and I'm hoping they will adjust it then so I can really get going this month and not be hungry after I eat. For the first time in a long time I'm ready to bring on summer!
Hope you have a great weekend-- will check back after my appointment on Tuesday.
Even though I know the goal of this surgery is for me to lose a whopping 100 pounds, I can't really picture myself like that. I can picture myself twenty pounds from now-- which hopefully is the end of May in order for me to reach my next goal. But not 100... that just seems like such a dream and too far away.
I'm hoping to be pleasantly surprised.
Anyway, today on my one month bandiversary, I weighed and measured myself for the first time since the clear-liquid diet started three days before my surgery:
-- Down 21 lbs.
-- 3.25 inches off thighs
-- 3.25 inches off arms
-- 2 inches off waist
-- 2 inches off hips
-- 1 inch off bust (sorry, Spike) :-)
So, not too shabby, but I really have to kick up the workouts. AND!! get my band adjusted. They haven't actually put any saline into the band to make it smaller yet so I am not getting full by eating a cup of food and get hungry an hour or so later.
My next appointment is on Tuesday of next week and I'm hoping they will adjust it then so I can really get going this month and not be hungry after I eat. For the first time in a long time I'm ready to bring on summer!
Hope you have a great weekend-- will check back after my appointment on Tuesday.
Tuesday, April 22, 2014
Why am I sharing this?
Like I said in my first post, I'm really not a fan of personal blogs. I have one at work that I have been consistently posting to in order to build "my personal brand" at IBM. But I haven't really cared about building a personal brand to share with the world. So again we can ask, why am I doing it now?
I guess the easy response is because people told me to. When people find out I had the lap-band surgery done, they were very surprised. They had no idea I had been considering it and they especially had no idea what it really was. Half the people think that I no longer have half of my stomach or intestines, the other half think that I had a six hour procedure and was probably in the hospital for days.
There is so much misconception about lap-band surgery and I admit, I was one of those people this time last year-- no idea what kind of weight loss surgery options were out there, options that were safe, effective and right for me.
Once people understand the surgery and see that I have survived it and am doing great, they then tell me that I need to share my experience. I said "absolutely not" at first. This is a sensitive and private matter, one that I have struggled with my entire life. I also didn't think anyone really would care to read it. But the more people that told me I should share, the stronger I felt about just writing it out to see what it looked like. So this past weekend after I visited with friends at a BBQ, I went home and just started to write.
It. Felt. Great. To tell my story, the one I have been holding inside for years that only a few people saw glimpses of, I had no idea how badly I needed to share it.
I have since shared this blog with some family and friends and their reactions have been the same. Friends who I think are the definition of perfect and beautiful and skinny have told me that they feel the EXACT same way as me. Others have struggled right along with me and have shared that this makes them feel better. They realize they aren't alone.
So it's decided. I will continue to write on this blog for myself. And if I can comfort someone in the meantime, well that's a bonus. So that's my reasoning, my objective. To document and express my feelings, my story, my journey... because I can and it feels good.
I guess the easy response is because people told me to. When people find out I had the lap-band surgery done, they were very surprised. They had no idea I had been considering it and they especially had no idea what it really was. Half the people think that I no longer have half of my stomach or intestines, the other half think that I had a six hour procedure and was probably in the hospital for days.
There is so much misconception about lap-band surgery and I admit, I was one of those people this time last year-- no idea what kind of weight loss surgery options were out there, options that were safe, effective and right for me.
Once people understand the surgery and see that I have survived it and am doing great, they then tell me that I need to share my experience. I said "absolutely not" at first. This is a sensitive and private matter, one that I have struggled with my entire life. I also didn't think anyone really would care to read it. But the more people that told me I should share, the stronger I felt about just writing it out to see what it looked like. So this past weekend after I visited with friends at a BBQ, I went home and just started to write.
It. Felt. Great. To tell my story, the one I have been holding inside for years that only a few people saw glimpses of, I had no idea how badly I needed to share it.
I have since shared this blog with some family and friends and their reactions have been the same. Friends who I think are the definition of perfect and beautiful and skinny have told me that they feel the EXACT same way as me. Others have struggled right along with me and have shared that this makes them feel better. They realize they aren't alone.
So it's decided. I will continue to write on this blog for myself. And if I can comfort someone in the meantime, well that's a bonus. So that's my reasoning, my objective. To document and express my feelings, my story, my journey... because I can and it feels good.
Breaking the Plateau
I did it! I finally broke the plateau that I have been on for three weeks now. As of this morning, I am down twenty pounds in four weeks. My goal is to be down twenty five at my follow up appointment exactly one week from today.
That may be setting the bar a little too high, but I feel that since I have gotten through the plateau that it should come off a little easier now. I went on a run/walk with my parents yesterday during my lunch break-- this new working situation has really allowed me to live a healthier life and I'm loving it! The loop at our house is 2.17 miles long and the backside is made up entirely of hills so we would run the hills to the next driveway and then walk to the next one and repeat.
And I was back on time for my next meeting(conference call). It was scattered showers all day, but once I was done with work, Spike and I walked up to the mailboxes and back and luckily that's as far as we went because it started to sprinkle as we reached the driveway.
This morning I woke up at 7:45a and walked the loop with mom and my little cousin, Cru, who she watches three days a week. It is SO nice to have someone to go on walks with me! Even though I know I really need to kick up the workout to more than just walking. Aubrey is out of time on vacation this week so I am working out on my own instead of going to crossfit until she returns.
I just really like getting my workout done in the morning at 8a before I start working.(If you knew how much I hate mornings this would come as a big shock to you!) And I really love the fact that my workday is flexible enough to allow me to do that! Sometimes I feel guilty because I remember my past jobs of working 60 hours a week and being stressed to the max, and I think of my friends back in Dubuque who are still living that life.
But now I've decided I'm just going to enjoy it. Do my job well and get as much exercise as possible on my breaks.
Next update will come after my doctor's appointment next week on Tuesday-- wish me luck.
That may be setting the bar a little too high, but I feel that since I have gotten through the plateau that it should come off a little easier now. I went on a run/walk with my parents yesterday during my lunch break-- this new working situation has really allowed me to live a healthier life and I'm loving it! The loop at our house is 2.17 miles long and the backside is made up entirely of hills so we would run the hills to the next driveway and then walk to the next one and repeat.
And I was back on time for my next meeting(conference call). It was scattered showers all day, but once I was done with work, Spike and I walked up to the mailboxes and back and luckily that's as far as we went because it started to sprinkle as we reached the driveway.
This morning I woke up at 7:45a and walked the loop with mom and my little cousin, Cru, who she watches three days a week. It is SO nice to have someone to go on walks with me! Even though I know I really need to kick up the workout to more than just walking. Aubrey is out of time on vacation this week so I am working out on my own instead of going to crossfit until she returns.
I just really like getting my workout done in the morning at 8a before I start working.(If you knew how much I hate mornings this would come as a big shock to you!) And I really love the fact that my workday is flexible enough to allow me to do that! Sometimes I feel guilty because I remember my past jobs of working 60 hours a week and being stressed to the max, and I think of my friends back in Dubuque who are still living that life.
But now I've decided I'm just going to enjoy it. Do my job well and get as much exercise as possible on my breaks.
Next update will come after my doctor's appointment next week on Tuesday-- wish me luck.
Monday, April 21, 2014
Eighteen Pounds in Ten Days
The day following the surgery was pretty miserable. I was taking liquid pain medication because I'm not allowed to swallow pills or capsules anymore with the band in place. It helped holding a pillow against my stomach so I held that thing tightly all week long. The worst part of it was the gas that was still inside my stomach from the surgery that would cause insane pressure in my back and sides.
It also didn't help that I was having menstrual cramps the four days after having stomach surgery. I couldn't tell if the cramps were from that or my surgery-- all I knew is that it sucked. I also am NOT a back sleeper so it was hard for me just lay there with pillows all around me. It was about five or six days before I braved sleeping on my side/stomach. The pains were the worst at night because of how I was positioned in bed I guess.
The one good thing about the few days after surgery was that I didn't feel like eating much and since I was on the clear liquid diet until the following Tuesday, that was a good thing in my opinion. Day three after surgery I stopped taking the pain medicine and began having a lot of sugar free popsicles to take my mind off of how hungry I was. Not gonna lie, on day nine of the clear liquid diet, the same day my family barbequed for my dad's birthday, I cried. I. was. starving!
My family could really start to tell a difference in my face by the end of the week, but I couldn't believe it when I stepped on the scale one week after surgery, ten days after the clear liquid diet started and I had lost 18 pounds. (Went from 251 to 233 lbs. in ten days.) I was sooo excited.
Everything went great at my one week appointment, I was now allowed to eat blended soups and oatmeal. It was the first time I felt full and it was only after eating half a cup of blended potato soup! The reason why you have to ease into eating soft foods and take it in stages is because your stomach is inflamed after surgery and it needs to heal and settle before I try to digest anything more difficult.
After week two, I actually gained a pound and was a little disappointed but knew that it had to be normal, especially after losing 18 and then actually getting to eat real food. Week three and four, I have been able to eat a bigger variety of foods. I can have soft fish, mashed potatoes, eggs, cheese and crackers. I've also been able to eat some things that were listed for a few weeks later, but all I have to do is eat them very slowly and make sure I chew them up good enough in order to digest them properly. That was necessary while I was traveling back to Dubuque for one more week of work and then also when we attended the freaking four BBQs in a week where I just looked at the meat and wanted to cry. But it's definitely getting easier to accept that there are some things I cannot and will probably never be able to have.
Week four I started really working out for the first time since before surgery, and I have now worked out for seven days in a row, including three sessions of crossfit on top of walking every day.... though my trainer/friend Aubrey took it easier on me than normal as I'm getting used to it again.
I'm getting excited to step on the scale tomorrow to see if any of the hard work has paid off as I crossover into Week 5!
It also didn't help that I was having menstrual cramps the four days after having stomach surgery. I couldn't tell if the cramps were from that or my surgery-- all I knew is that it sucked. I also am NOT a back sleeper so it was hard for me just lay there with pillows all around me. It was about five or six days before I braved sleeping on my side/stomach. The pains were the worst at night because of how I was positioned in bed I guess.
The one good thing about the few days after surgery was that I didn't feel like eating much and since I was on the clear liquid diet until the following Tuesday, that was a good thing in my opinion. Day three after surgery I stopped taking the pain medicine and began having a lot of sugar free popsicles to take my mind off of how hungry I was. Not gonna lie, on day nine of the clear liquid diet, the same day my family barbequed for my dad's birthday, I cried. I. was. starving!
My family could really start to tell a difference in my face by the end of the week, but I couldn't believe it when I stepped on the scale one week after surgery, ten days after the clear liquid diet started and I had lost 18 pounds. (Went from 251 to 233 lbs. in ten days.) I was sooo excited.
Everything went great at my one week appointment, I was now allowed to eat blended soups and oatmeal. It was the first time I felt full and it was only after eating half a cup of blended potato soup! The reason why you have to ease into eating soft foods and take it in stages is because your stomach is inflamed after surgery and it needs to heal and settle before I try to digest anything more difficult.
After week two, I actually gained a pound and was a little disappointed but knew that it had to be normal, especially after losing 18 and then actually getting to eat real food. Week three and four, I have been able to eat a bigger variety of foods. I can have soft fish, mashed potatoes, eggs, cheese and crackers. I've also been able to eat some things that were listed for a few weeks later, but all I have to do is eat them very slowly and make sure I chew them up good enough in order to digest them properly. That was necessary while I was traveling back to Dubuque for one more week of work and then also when we attended the freaking four BBQs in a week where I just looked at the meat and wanted to cry. But it's definitely getting easier to accept that there are some things I cannot and will probably never be able to have.
Week four I started really working out for the first time since before surgery, and I have now worked out for seven days in a row, including three sessions of crossfit on top of walking every day.... though my trainer/friend Aubrey took it easier on me than normal as I'm getting used to it again.
I'm getting excited to step on the scale tomorrow to see if any of the hard work has paid off as I crossover into Week 5!
The Big Day
So in the midst of preparing for surgery, another incredible thing happened in my life-- I got a promotion at work that was also a work from home management job, which meant we were moving home at the beginning of April. It's like everything aligned perfectly and what normally would be three very stressful events-- surgery, moving and new job-- to happen at one time for a person, were actually the complete opposite-- they were the greatest things to happen. Ever!
The Saturday before my surgery was the first day of the dreaded ten-day clear liquid diet. It was also the day before we came home to my parents' house since my medical leave was taking effect that week. I couldn't believe it at first, but I was given over two weeks of short term disability at work for me to have my surgery and recover-- I'm so grateful for those two weeks!
With a clear liquid diet, I could have a handful of not very tasty things-- whey protein shakes with WATER(Yuck!), chicken broth or bouillon cubes, sugar free popscicles and suger free Jello. I followed that diet Saturday through Monday and then arrived at Des Peres Hospital around 6a Tuesday morning to prep for surgery.
They took me back in the room, got me in a gown and gave me a slightly painful shot of blood thinners in the side of my stomach. One of the side effects/issues seen with the surgery is blood clots so they were taking precautions and I had to wear these leg compression pads during my surgery, too. I peed in a cup to verify I wasn't pregnant(yay) and waited for Spike and my mom to come back to see me off to surgery.
Then something happened I was not expecting-- the woman from admissions came back with my family and told me that I needed to pay my deductible and 20% before I went back for surgery. WHAT?!?! I thought they just billed that shit, but apparently not. Luckily I was able to hurry up and move funds over from savings to cover it before they ran my card, but I thought it was so crazy that they didn't give us any warning we would need to pay for it that day.
We are fortunate that we were able to afford my surgery and that my insurance covered most of it. Most people are not so lucky and it is not a cheap procedure. The hospital submitted over $25,000 to insurance to cover my surgery so we had to pay over $6,100 for our part. I've heard that some people actually have taken out loans to have the surgery. There is one thing I know... the hospital/surgeons are making bank.
So we got the billing all taken care of and they took me back where I was laying in bed waiting to be pushed into surgery. They put in the IV, I talked to the anesthesiologist and then I waited.... for an hour... while all the patients around me went back for their surgeries and new ones came in. Apparently my surgeon had a surgery prior to mine that I had to wait to finish up.
All I know is that as soon as they did take me back and put the mask on my face, I was out! When I came to I was sitting in a chair and just remember all I wanted to do was lay down and go back to sleep. But this lady told me I had to drink water before they would take me up to meet my family in the recovery room. They had blown my stomach up with gas so they could maneuver around in there easier and the only way to get rid of that very painful gas was to cough and to walk around. So the woman had me practice my coughing and when she finally was satisfied they took me to see Spike and Mom.
I wasn't a very happy patient, still delirious from anesthesia and high on liquid pain medication, when another nurse came in to talk to me about what I needed to do next. I couldn't pay attention and all I could think about was coughing like that lady told me to. I guess my coughing wasn't up to my new nurse's standards because she asked me if I had a tickle in my throat. When I told her that the previous woman told me I needed to cough to release the gas, she informed me that I was doing it wrong and needed to take deeper breathes and cough heavier. I was pissed. I'm sure the pain medication had something to do with it but apparently after the nurse left, I let my family know how much I disliked that nurse. And based on the text messages from my phone, I let some other people know about it, too.
They made me get up and walk to the bathroom and make sure I could go pee before they released me from the hospital. I couldn't wait to get in the car so I could sleep on the hour drive home.
The Saturday before my surgery was the first day of the dreaded ten-day clear liquid diet. It was also the day before we came home to my parents' house since my medical leave was taking effect that week. I couldn't believe it at first, but I was given over two weeks of short term disability at work for me to have my surgery and recover-- I'm so grateful for those two weeks!
With a clear liquid diet, I could have a handful of not very tasty things-- whey protein shakes with WATER(Yuck!), chicken broth or bouillon cubes, sugar free popscicles and suger free Jello. I followed that diet Saturday through Monday and then arrived at Des Peres Hospital around 6a Tuesday morning to prep for surgery.
They took me back in the room, got me in a gown and gave me a slightly painful shot of blood thinners in the side of my stomach. One of the side effects/issues seen with the surgery is blood clots so they were taking precautions and I had to wear these leg compression pads during my surgery, too. I peed in a cup to verify I wasn't pregnant(yay) and waited for Spike and my mom to come back to see me off to surgery.
Then something happened I was not expecting-- the woman from admissions came back with my family and told me that I needed to pay my deductible and 20% before I went back for surgery. WHAT?!?! I thought they just billed that shit, but apparently not. Luckily I was able to hurry up and move funds over from savings to cover it before they ran my card, but I thought it was so crazy that they didn't give us any warning we would need to pay for it that day.
We are fortunate that we were able to afford my surgery and that my insurance covered most of it. Most people are not so lucky and it is not a cheap procedure. The hospital submitted over $25,000 to insurance to cover my surgery so we had to pay over $6,100 for our part. I've heard that some people actually have taken out loans to have the surgery. There is one thing I know... the hospital/surgeons are making bank.
So we got the billing all taken care of and they took me back where I was laying in bed waiting to be pushed into surgery. They put in the IV, I talked to the anesthesiologist and then I waited.... for an hour... while all the patients around me went back for their surgeries and new ones came in. Apparently my surgeon had a surgery prior to mine that I had to wait to finish up.
All I know is that as soon as they did take me back and put the mask on my face, I was out! When I came to I was sitting in a chair and just remember all I wanted to do was lay down and go back to sleep. But this lady told me I had to drink water before they would take me up to meet my family in the recovery room. They had blown my stomach up with gas so they could maneuver around in there easier and the only way to get rid of that very painful gas was to cough and to walk around. So the woman had me practice my coughing and when she finally was satisfied they took me to see Spike and Mom.
I wasn't a very happy patient, still delirious from anesthesia and high on liquid pain medication, when another nurse came in to talk to me about what I needed to do next. I couldn't pay attention and all I could think about was coughing like that lady told me to. I guess my coughing wasn't up to my new nurse's standards because she asked me if I had a tickle in my throat. When I told her that the previous woman told me I needed to cough to release the gas, she informed me that I was doing it wrong and needed to take deeper breathes and cough heavier. I was pissed. I'm sure the pain medication had something to do with it but apparently after the nurse left, I let my family know how much I disliked that nurse. And based on the text messages from my phone, I let some other people know about it, too.
They made me get up and walk to the bathroom and make sure I could go pee before they released me from the hospital. I couldn't wait to get in the car so I could sleep on the hour drive home.
The Call
I was at work on Thursday, February 20th when I got a call from a nurse practitioner with Anthem Blue Cross Blue Shield who told me that my surgery had been approved. I was ecstatic. She told me I would get an official letter in the mail and would need to fax that to the surgeon's office so they could schedule the procedure.
A few days later I received the letter in the mail and called the doctor's office to make the arrangements. We scheduled my pre-op appointment, testing and education class for Monday, March 17th since we were going to be home that weekend anyway for my niece's first birthday party. My surgery would then take place the following Tuesday, March 25th and they would call me the day before to tell me the specific time.
My husband went with me on March 17th where I had to get an EKG, blood work and chest x-ray at the hospital to be cleared for surgery. We then met with the surgeon who repeated the steps of the 30-45 minute surgery so that Spike could have a full understanding of what would happen while I was under.
At that time, we also decided I would participate in a study they were doing where in addition to the lap band surgery, they would also fold over my stomach. They had done this with over a hundred patients and the results had been very promising. By folding the stomach over, you are making it smaller without actually cutting into it and you are securing the band in place better. They have seen quicker weight loss, less band slippage and fewer adjustments that have to be made by simply folding the stomach.
Once we met with the surgeon, we then attended a 90-minute education session where we went over the eight week diet for before and after surgery. I'll share those requirements with you in later posts. We also learned about chewable supplements that I would have to take for the rest of my life. To be honest, my husband paid more attention than I did and also has been a stickler about taking my vitamins since I had my surgery.
With the surgery:
--You can no longer drink out of straws because air will get in and cause painful gas to go to your shoulders and back.
--You should not have caffeine or as little as possible since that makes you feel hungry more often. --You can't swallow any pills that are too big to fit in a straw.
-- No alcohol for the first three months, but really you shouldn't even after that since it's a lot of calories with no value to the body.
-- And no carbonation!! That means no soda, no beer, no CHAMPAGNE for my mimosas! Oh the tragedy! :-)
Once we left there, we knew what was needed to make this surgery and the outcome a success. I had one last week to eat all the pizza and drink all the beer I wanted before I had to let it go forever.
A few days later I received the letter in the mail and called the doctor's office to make the arrangements. We scheduled my pre-op appointment, testing and education class for Monday, March 17th since we were going to be home that weekend anyway for my niece's first birthday party. My surgery would then take place the following Tuesday, March 25th and they would call me the day before to tell me the specific time.
My husband went with me on March 17th where I had to get an EKG, blood work and chest x-ray at the hospital to be cleared for surgery. We then met with the surgeon who repeated the steps of the 30-45 minute surgery so that Spike could have a full understanding of what would happen while I was under.
At that time, we also decided I would participate in a study they were doing where in addition to the lap band surgery, they would also fold over my stomach. They had done this with over a hundred patients and the results had been very promising. By folding the stomach over, you are making it smaller without actually cutting into it and you are securing the band in place better. They have seen quicker weight loss, less band slippage and fewer adjustments that have to be made by simply folding the stomach.
Once we met with the surgeon, we then attended a 90-minute education session where we went over the eight week diet for before and after surgery. I'll share those requirements with you in later posts. We also learned about chewable supplements that I would have to take for the rest of my life. To be honest, my husband paid more attention than I did and also has been a stickler about taking my vitamins since I had my surgery.
With the surgery:
--You can no longer drink out of straws because air will get in and cause painful gas to go to your shoulders and back.
--You should not have caffeine or as little as possible since that makes you feel hungry more often. --You can't swallow any pills that are too big to fit in a straw.
-- No alcohol for the first three months, but really you shouldn't even after that since it's a lot of calories with no value to the body.
-- And no carbonation!! That means no soda, no beer, no CHAMPAGNE for my mimosas! Oh the tragedy! :-)
Once we left there, we knew what was needed to make this surgery and the outcome a success. I had one last week to eat all the pizza and drink all the beer I wanted before I had to let it go forever.
Morbid Obesity & the My New Self Seminar
I made the five-hour drive to St. Louis from Dubuque the night before the seminar and stayed with my brother and sister-in-law. My mom met me the next morning at the hospital and there were probably 15 people in the session. Dr. Scott was the surgeon speaking that day and would be my surgeon through this whole process.
He went over the causes of obesity and the scale of it using BMI. Most people wouldn't believe this, but I fell in the most extreme range of 40 BMI: Morbidly Obese. Standing at 5'5" and weighing over 240 pounds, I was morbidly obese. I remember looking at that chart five times before I finally convinced myself that I really was in that category.
The surgeon mentioned that obesity is a disease that many people associate with being lazy, but doctors and surgeons don't believe that is really true. He used the example of many morbidly obese individuals are very successful in life-- they go to college, get advanced degrees, work hard for a living. There is much more to being obese than just being a lazy person.
There is no cure for obesity, but the one treatment that has been proven effective is weight loss surgery. When I used to think of weight loss surgery, I thought of liposuction(which is cosmetic surgery, not weight loss surgery) and the drastic and dangerous stapling of the stomach. I had no idea there were so many choices now.
I did know that I did not want to do anything I couldn't undo so my best option was Lap-Band surgery, which is reversible if something should go wrong or I decided I didn't want/need it anymore. Lap-Band surgery is usually an outpatient procedure where they make three to six small incisions and place a band around the top of your stomach, right below your esophagus.
This requires you to eat your food very slowly and chew it to a toothpaste consistency so that it can go through the band easily into the stomach. What the band does is sends a message up the nerve to your brain telling you that you are full. You can eat about half a cup or a cup of food over a minimum of twenty minutes so that you do not overeat, which can result in your getting sick or even causing the band to move or stomach expand.
The band has a port attached to it that is placed below your skin in your lower stomach. To adjust the band they inject saline into it to tighten the opening of the band, or they remove saline to make it looser. They don't actually "adjust" the band for a few weeks or month after the surgery to give your body a chance to get used to having the band there and set nicely with your esophagus creating a little bulge over the band to better hold it in place. Once they do adjust the band, it makes you feel full quicker and for about 4-5 hours before you feel hungry again.
I had done so much research about the band that I didn't learn too much new information about the surgery itself at the seminar, but I did learn about the process to actually get the surgery.
Next steps were
-- Schedule a consult with the surgeon
-- Participate in the psych evaluation at the surgeon's office with the psychologist on site.
-- Get blood tests done to check thyroid levels
-- Get clearance from a primary physician for surgery.
Once all of that was completed, the surgeon's office would then submit it to my insurance company, who if they approved of the need for the surgery would pay for 80% of the costs.
I immediately made an appointment for my consult and psych evaluation for right before Christmas and then got cleared for surgery by the second week in January. Now all that was left was to wait on my insurance company to approve!
He went over the causes of obesity and the scale of it using BMI. Most people wouldn't believe this, but I fell in the most extreme range of 40 BMI: Morbidly Obese. Standing at 5'5" and weighing over 240 pounds, I was morbidly obese. I remember looking at that chart five times before I finally convinced myself that I really was in that category.
The surgeon mentioned that obesity is a disease that many people associate with being lazy, but doctors and surgeons don't believe that is really true. He used the example of many morbidly obese individuals are very successful in life-- they go to college, get advanced degrees, work hard for a living. There is much more to being obese than just being a lazy person.
There is no cure for obesity, but the one treatment that has been proven effective is weight loss surgery. When I used to think of weight loss surgery, I thought of liposuction(which is cosmetic surgery, not weight loss surgery) and the drastic and dangerous stapling of the stomach. I had no idea there were so many choices now.
I did know that I did not want to do anything I couldn't undo so my best option was Lap-Band surgery, which is reversible if something should go wrong or I decided I didn't want/need it anymore. Lap-Band surgery is usually an outpatient procedure where they make three to six small incisions and place a band around the top of your stomach, right below your esophagus.
This requires you to eat your food very slowly and chew it to a toothpaste consistency so that it can go through the band easily into the stomach. What the band does is sends a message up the nerve to your brain telling you that you are full. You can eat about half a cup or a cup of food over a minimum of twenty minutes so that you do not overeat, which can result in your getting sick or even causing the band to move or stomach expand.
The band has a port attached to it that is placed below your skin in your lower stomach. To adjust the band they inject saline into it to tighten the opening of the band, or they remove saline to make it looser. They don't actually "adjust" the band for a few weeks or month after the surgery to give your body a chance to get used to having the band there and set nicely with your esophagus creating a little bulge over the band to better hold it in place. Once they do adjust the band, it makes you feel full quicker and for about 4-5 hours before you feel hungry again.
I had done so much research about the band that I didn't learn too much new information about the surgery itself at the seminar, but I did learn about the process to actually get the surgery.
Next steps were
-- Schedule a consult with the surgeon
-- Participate in the psych evaluation at the surgeon's office with the psychologist on site.
-- Get blood tests done to check thyroid levels
-- Get clearance from a primary physician for surgery.
Once all of that was completed, the surgeon's office would then submit it to my insurance company, who if they approved of the need for the surgery would pay for 80% of the costs.
I immediately made an appointment for my consult and psych evaluation for right before Christmas and then got cleared for surgery by the second week in January. Now all that was left was to wait on my insurance company to approve!
Sunday, April 20, 2014
Actions Speak Louder Than Words
Note: This is the second post on this blog. To see the first blog post, click "Older Posts."
Right before Thanksgiving of 2013, I was having a pity party for myself for not finding the motivation to go to the gym more than once or twice a week and because I was convinced that my schedule of working 60 hours a week (sitting, mostly) was going to cause me to never be able to lose weight. Yes, I know these are all excuses. I knew it then but still couldn't shake the disappointment or opportunity to mope.
Even though I am usually a positive person, on an occasion like this when I am down in the dumps, Spike really hates seeing me like that. So this night he brought up the surgery for the first time since we had discussed it before our wedding. I had been thinking about it a lot, but just had some reservations about the whole thing.
I could say it was because of the drastic lifestyle change that comes along with lap band surgery or the surgery itself that was scary, but what I was really most concerned about was that I was a failure. I had tried everything, but I wasn't good enough or disciplined enough to lose weight on my own. If I had this surgery, I would be taking the easy way out. (Oh boy, do I know that's not true now!) But at that moment, I just felt like one big FAT failure. Pun intended... or whatever.
Now comes the part that has convinced me if I didn't have this wonderful man who loves me every day no matter what mood I'm in that I don't think I could have made this life-changing decision. After I laid out all my arguments on why I would be a failure if I had the surgery, Spike said to me, "Don't think of it as failing. This is an opportunity to get healthy. If you found out you had cancer, you would, without a doubt, go with the best and most effective treatment out there to get your health back. Why is this any different?"
I'm not sure if it was the analogy he used or just the fact that I could finally hear him for the first time that made me come to my senses. He was with me no matter what and because of that I could never fail.
Once that conversation happened, I was on a mission. We were living in Iowa at the time, but I was soon going to be interviewing for work from home jobs with IBM so that we could move back home an hour South of St. Louis. I started looking up places that did this type of surgery and that's when I found the "My New Self" program at Des Peres Hospital in St. Louis. I read every word of their website and called to find out what I needed to do.
The requirements for this surgery were...
--I had to be 100 or more pounds overweight-- check!
--With a Body Mass Index(BMI) of at least 40-- check!
--At least 18 years old-- check!
--My serious weight loss attempts have had only short-term success-- double check!
--Not currently pregnant-- check!
And the last one...
-- You are prepared to make major changes in your eating habits and lifestyle.
I paused at this one and then thought back to all of the "first days" of diets and exercise routines, to all the adorable clothes I couldn't wear or that didn't come in my size, to all the day-long walking trips resulting in me walking funny due to the chaffing of my thighs, to hating every single picture that had ever been tagged of me on Facebook, to the fact that I was the heaviest I had ever been on my wedding day and could barely fit in the harness when we rock rappelled into a swimming hole on our honeymoon. It was time to erase all of that... to replace those memories with the good things that happened on those special days.
I've never said "check" so quickly or sincerely in my life.
I made an appointment to attend their next seminar on Saturday, December 7th and I'm pretty sure that is all I thought about for the next three weeks.
Right before Thanksgiving of 2013, I was having a pity party for myself for not finding the motivation to go to the gym more than once or twice a week and because I was convinced that my schedule of working 60 hours a week (sitting, mostly) was going to cause me to never be able to lose weight. Yes, I know these are all excuses. I knew it then but still couldn't shake the disappointment or opportunity to mope.
Even though I am usually a positive person, on an occasion like this when I am down in the dumps, Spike really hates seeing me like that. So this night he brought up the surgery for the first time since we had discussed it before our wedding. I had been thinking about it a lot, but just had some reservations about the whole thing.
I could say it was because of the drastic lifestyle change that comes along with lap band surgery or the surgery itself that was scary, but what I was really most concerned about was that I was a failure. I had tried everything, but I wasn't good enough or disciplined enough to lose weight on my own. If I had this surgery, I would be taking the easy way out. (Oh boy, do I know that's not true now!) But at that moment, I just felt like one big FAT failure. Pun intended... or whatever.
"What I was really most concerned about was that I was a failure."
Now comes the part that has convinced me if I didn't have this wonderful man who loves me every day no matter what mood I'm in that I don't think I could have made this life-changing decision. After I laid out all my arguments on why I would be a failure if I had the surgery, Spike said to me, "Don't think of it as failing. This is an opportunity to get healthy. If you found out you had cancer, you would, without a doubt, go with the best and most effective treatment out there to get your health back. Why is this any different?"
I'm not sure if it was the analogy he used or just the fact that I could finally hear him for the first time that made me come to my senses. He was with me no matter what and because of that I could never fail.
Once that conversation happened, I was on a mission. We were living in Iowa at the time, but I was soon going to be interviewing for work from home jobs with IBM so that we could move back home an hour South of St. Louis. I started looking up places that did this type of surgery and that's when I found the "My New Self" program at Des Peres Hospital in St. Louis. I read every word of their website and called to find out what I needed to do.
The requirements for this surgery were...
--I had to be 100 or more pounds overweight-- check!
--With a Body Mass Index(BMI) of at least 40-- check!
--At least 18 years old-- check!
--My serious weight loss attempts have had only short-term success-- double check!
--Not currently pregnant-- check!
And the last one...
-- You are prepared to make major changes in your eating habits and lifestyle.
I paused at this one and then thought back to all of the "first days" of diets and exercise routines, to all the adorable clothes I couldn't wear or that didn't come in my size, to all the day-long walking trips resulting in me walking funny due to the chaffing of my thighs, to hating every single picture that had ever been tagged of me on Facebook, to the fact that I was the heaviest I had ever been on my wedding day and could barely fit in the harness when we rock rappelled into a swimming hole on our honeymoon. It was time to erase all of that... to replace those memories with the good things that happened on those special days.
I've never said "check" so quickly or sincerely in my life.
I made an appointment to attend their next seminar on Saturday, December 7th and I'm pretty sure that is all I thought about for the next three weeks.
Behind the Pounds
There are a few things you need to know about me before we get too invested in whatever this is:
First thing, I'm not a fan of blogs...because, really, nobody gives a shit what you(or me) have to say. I've tried blogging a few times before, but I had a hard time committing to anything other than working 60 hours a week and watching TV shows on the computer.
Side note: Are they still considered TV Shows if you watch them on the web?
So the time struggle was one thing, but in reality I just got bored listening to myself typing like I was the coolest person in the world, so sure that everyone was on the edge of their seat waiting for the next clever line to come across my webpage. That's when I realized I wasn't quite made for the blog world.
So what are we doing here? Well I guess I need to take us way back to explain how I got to this spot-- not on my parents' couch at 7:28 on a Sunday night, but to the point where I feel the need to "pick up the pen and paper" again. This may take a few entries to do...
For my entire adult life I have been successful in almost anything I decide I want to do-- I graduated college early with honors, my career has really taken off at IBM over the past five years
and I "re-met" the love of my life who I have called husband for seven months now. But the one thing I have never been able to conquer is my weight. Not just my weight, but my horrendous
lifestyle of eating whatever I want and exercising a couple times a month-- at best.
Being overweight is not really a comfortable subject and it definitely has been the one outstanding problem in my life that I have always felt was not completely under my control. Growing up,
I was always bigger than the kids in my class. Not really because I was fat, but because my body was growing at a more rapid pace than my peers. I was wearing a training bra in second grade,
I remember it because it had little Minnie Mouses on it. At age six, the doctors told me I had the hand size of an eleven-year-old. So I started my life knowing I was "bigger."
In eighth grade, I decided to run track and really lost a ton of that baby weight I had been carrying around with me that made me look even larger than my classmates. I remember a comment
from my AAU Basketball coach who was also my Principal one day... He said I looked skinny as a pole. It was a great feeling, one I wish would have lasted.
In high school I played volleyball and basketball and worked outside at a greenhouse retail shop in the spring and summer. I was healthy because I was very active, but my eating choices would
make dieticians everywhere shudder with disgust. Also, because we had pretty short lunches at school, I had learned a very bad habit of eating as quickly as possible resulting in me eating way more than necessary without realizing I was already full. (Or maybe I just didn't care.)
Even though I felt I was overweight, and my brother and his friends weren't shy of calling me the "F" word whenever they felt like picking on me, my health really wasn't an issue until a few years
later.
I was your typical college student going to classes, hanging out with friends, partying at the bars and then eating fried, awful food at all hours of the day and night. I carried those habits into my adulthood and by then it was like an addiction... not that I didn't try to change my ways. Oh, man, have I tried:
In the past eight years, I have hired three personal trainers, participated in ten different types of bootcamp/spinning/exercise programs for twelve weeks at a time, took a weight-loss supplement (phentermine) as part of weight management program at my doctor's office (To say it made me a raging bitch would be putting it nicely-- just ask my husband), ate six small meals a day, ate three meals a day of nothing but protein and fiber, trained and ran in the Nike Women's Half Marathon, and purchased up to five weight loss books for knowledge and encouragement.
The most weight I had lost at one time was 25 pounds and that was for about four months at the end of 2011 after reading/following "The Four Hour Body" regime and doing crossfit three times a week.
But as many weightloss stories go, those 25 pounds came back... plus twenty more.
______________________
Now that you know the background you are probably wondering why I'm back here in front of this computer screen after I swore off the blog world ages ago(more like a few years).
As I gained back my weight throughout the year of 2012 and into 2013, I just tried to ignore it because I was happy and in love with my boyfriend/fiance and knew that he loved me no matter what. I was convinced I would find the motivation to lose weight by the time we got married in September 2013, but I was wrong.
About six months before the wedding, I went to have dinner at the steakhouse where my fiance tended bar and there was this man there having drinks with his dinner who became very chatty with me. At one point in the night, my husband went to the back of the restaurant leaving me alone with this supposed "Life Coach" who was in town for a conference.
That's when our conversation took a turn when the man called out a chronic tic that I have where I turn my head to the left and sometimes roll my shoulder-- for those of you that don't know, a chronic tic is an involuntary movement disorder that you can almost compare to OCD-- Nothing physically is making me do it, but I can't think of anything else until I do the movement and get a feeling of relief once I do. There is not a lot of known information on the causes of chronic tics and I usually hide mine pretty well, but apparently not well enough for this observer at the bar.
He asked me why I kept moving my head/arm and I told him it was a tic I have had since I was in fifth grade. He just kept asking me why I have it and I just kept telling him that I wish I knew.
Well, he didn't stop there. He then made one of the most profound and completely inappropriate statements that has ever been said to me. "I can tell that you have a great personality and
everyone here just loves you and flocks to you... So why are you hiding behind all of those pounds?"
I couldn't have heard him right, could I? This complete stranger could not have just called out ANOTHER touchy subject that even my closest friends don't talk about... DID HE?! I just froze-- I wanted to die on the spot. I couldn't even tell you the response I gave... just a shrug maybe,
an excuse that I have a hard time with it, I really don't know what I said, but by that time Spike was back upfront, I gave him some cash for my meal and left. He had no idea what his "friendly customer" had done.
We talked for a very long time and by the end of the phone call, my tears had dried, but my heart was the heaviest it had ever been. Later that night my husband came home and heard about what that man had said to me... to say he was angry is an understatement, but I tried to make him see that what that man said, it was true.
As I was going to bed that night, my dad sent me a link to a youtube video of "Here Comes the Sun" by the Beatles. I cried like a baby again... but this time because I knew I had all the love and support I needed.
______________________
It had been a week or maybe a month from that day when my dad texted me an article about New Jersey Governor, Chris Christie, who had gotten a weight loss surgery done that was outpatient and minimally invasive. I never in my dreams would have thought about weight loss surgery as something for me, but the fact that my dad thought it was legit enough to send me, I decided to do some research. There is A LOT out there and I spent days reading and googling all about the procedure from the article.
Lap band, or laparoscopic adjustable gastric band, seemed to me like the answer I'd been waiting for-- my only option left. I was beyond suprised when Spike(my husband) agreed with me and said I should look into it. Though I really shouldn't have been that surprised considering he is the love of my life who only wants for me to be happy. But it all just seemed so crazy.
We both did some more research and decided that if this was something I really wanted to do then we would continue the discussion after our wedding.
And that we did.
First thing, I'm not a fan of blogs...because, really, nobody gives a shit what you(or me) have to say. I've tried blogging a few times before, but I had a hard time committing to anything other than working 60 hours a week and watching TV shows on the computer.
Side note: Are they still considered TV Shows if you watch them on the web?
So the time struggle was one thing, but in reality I just got bored listening to myself typing like I was the coolest person in the world, so sure that everyone was on the edge of their seat waiting for the next clever line to come across my webpage. That's when I realized I wasn't quite made for the blog world.
So what are we doing here? Well I guess I need to take us way back to explain how I got to this spot-- not on my parents' couch at 7:28 on a Sunday night, but to the point where I feel the need to "pick up the pen and paper" again. This may take a few entries to do...
For my entire adult life I have been successful in almost anything I decide I want to do-- I graduated college early with honors, my career has really taken off at IBM over the past five years
and I "re-met" the love of my life who I have called husband for seven months now. But the one thing I have never been able to conquer is my weight. Not just my weight, but my horrendous
lifestyle of eating whatever I want and exercising a couple times a month-- at best.
Being overweight is not really a comfortable subject and it definitely has been the one outstanding problem in my life that I have always felt was not completely under my control. Growing up,
I was always bigger than the kids in my class. Not really because I was fat, but because my body was growing at a more rapid pace than my peers. I was wearing a training bra in second grade,
I remember it because it had little Minnie Mouses on it. At age six, the doctors told me I had the hand size of an eleven-year-old. So I started my life knowing I was "bigger."
In eighth grade, I decided to run track and really lost a ton of that baby weight I had been carrying around with me that made me look even larger than my classmates. I remember a comment
from my AAU Basketball coach who was also my Principal one day... He said I looked skinny as a pole. It was a great feeling, one I wish would have lasted.
In high school I played volleyball and basketball and worked outside at a greenhouse retail shop in the spring and summer. I was healthy because I was very active, but my eating choices would
make dieticians everywhere shudder with disgust. Also, because we had pretty short lunches at school, I had learned a very bad habit of eating as quickly as possible resulting in me eating way more than necessary without realizing I was already full. (Or maybe I just didn't care.)
Even though I felt I was overweight, and my brother and his friends weren't shy of calling me the "F" word whenever they felt like picking on me, my health really wasn't an issue until a few years
later.
I was your typical college student going to classes, hanging out with friends, partying at the bars and then eating fried, awful food at all hours of the day and night. I carried those habits into my adulthood and by then it was like an addiction... not that I didn't try to change my ways. Oh, man, have I tried:
In the past eight years, I have hired three personal trainers, participated in ten different types of bootcamp/spinning/exercise programs for twelve weeks at a time, took a weight-loss supplement (phentermine) as part of weight management program at my doctor's office (To say it made me a raging bitch would be putting it nicely-- just ask my husband), ate six small meals a day, ate three meals a day of nothing but protein and fiber, trained and ran in the Nike Women's Half Marathon, and purchased up to five weight loss books for knowledge and encouragement.
The most weight I had lost at one time was 25 pounds and that was for about four months at the end of 2011 after reading/following "The Four Hour Body" regime and doing crossfit three times a week.
But as many weightloss stories go, those 25 pounds came back... plus twenty more.
______________________
Now that you know the background you are probably wondering why I'm back here in front of this computer screen after I swore off the blog world ages ago(more like a few years).
As I gained back my weight throughout the year of 2012 and into 2013, I just tried to ignore it because I was happy and in love with my boyfriend/fiance and knew that he loved me no matter what. I was convinced I would find the motivation to lose weight by the time we got married in September 2013, but I was wrong.
About six months before the wedding, I went to have dinner at the steakhouse where my fiance tended bar and there was this man there having drinks with his dinner who became very chatty with me. At one point in the night, my husband went to the back of the restaurant leaving me alone with this supposed "Life Coach" who was in town for a conference.
That's when our conversation took a turn when the man called out a chronic tic that I have where I turn my head to the left and sometimes roll my shoulder-- for those of you that don't know, a chronic tic is an involuntary movement disorder that you can almost compare to OCD-- Nothing physically is making me do it, but I can't think of anything else until I do the movement and get a feeling of relief once I do. There is not a lot of known information on the causes of chronic tics and I usually hide mine pretty well, but apparently not well enough for this observer at the bar.
He asked me why I kept moving my head/arm and I told him it was a tic I have had since I was in fifth grade. He just kept asking me why I have it and I just kept telling him that I wish I knew.
Well, he didn't stop there. He then made one of the most profound and completely inappropriate statements that has ever been said to me. "I can tell that you have a great personality and
everyone here just loves you and flocks to you... So why are you hiding behind all of those pounds?"
I couldn't have heard him right, could I? This complete stranger could not have just called out ANOTHER touchy subject that even my closest friends don't talk about... DID HE?! I just froze-- I wanted to die on the spot. I couldn't even tell you the response I gave... just a shrug maybe,
an excuse that I have a hard time with it, I really don't know what I said, but by that time Spike was back upfront, I gave him some cash for my meal and left. He had no idea what his "friendly customer" had done.
I didnt know what to do.
I wanted to yell.
I wanted to punch that asshole in the face.
I wanted to talk to my dad, the man who always tried to get me to be healthier but loved me even though I had not succeeded. As soon as the first words came out of my mouth, I started sobbing on the phone. I can't imaagine what my dad thought as he listened to his daughter crying four hundred miles away. I was able to tell him the story and for the first time felt that he truly understood my struggle. He understood that I really had tried to lose weight, to be a healthy 26 year old, one he could be proud of.
As I was going to bed that night, my dad sent me a link to a youtube video of "Here Comes the Sun" by the Beatles. I cried like a baby again... but this time because I knew I had all the love and support I needed.
______________________
It had been a week or maybe a month from that day when my dad texted me an article about New Jersey Governor, Chris Christie, who had gotten a weight loss surgery done that was outpatient and minimally invasive. I never in my dreams would have thought about weight loss surgery as something for me, but the fact that my dad thought it was legit enough to send me, I decided to do some research. There is A LOT out there and I spent days reading and googling all about the procedure from the article.
Lap band, or laparoscopic adjustable gastric band, seemed to me like the answer I'd been waiting for-- my only option left. I was beyond suprised when Spike(my husband) agreed with me and said I should look into it. Though I really shouldn't have been that surprised considering he is the love of my life who only wants for me to be happy. But it all just seemed so crazy.
We both did some more research and decided that if this was something I really wanted to do then we would continue the discussion after our wedding.
And that we did.
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