I have finally come to terms with the fact that I am an addict. I am addicted to sugar, desserts, and all things bad for me. If it's in this house, I will find it and I will eat it. You may think I'm joking and that I am just being one of those people who throw that word around, but I really do believe it is an addiction.
Many people think that weight loss surgery makes you automatically skinny. While it does help me eat less than I did before, I still have to make a decision every day on what kind of foods I let in my body. And for some reason when it comes to sugary treats, I feel no restriction at all, which means my band does not prevent me from eating as much as I want. I learned from the Facebook Lapband group that these are considered "Slider Foods" because they go down our band very easily.
I got out of hand this month-- I found I was having dessert every other day, if not every day. My mom would bake a pie for the Cardinals game, we would buy candy for movie night, I just had to try all of the desserts at our friends' housewarming party. It really is an addiction-- one that was quickly getting out of control.
I needed to be reminded of how I felt at the beginning-- when I was making better choices and knew what it meant to be truly hungry from my initial ten-day clear liquid diet and seven-day full liquid diet. I also really needed to de-tox my body of all the shit I was putting into it.
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Hitting the Reset Button
A lot of people online do what they call the "Five Day Pouch Test," which is going back to a day or two of the clear liquid diet, then full liquid diet and then soft foods. I decided to do a miniature version of this since I felt my eating had taken a turn for the worse and because I had been stuck at 217 pounds for almost 2 months.
I decided to do protein shakes on Monday, protein shakes and full liquids like soups and some chilli on Tuesday and Wednesday and then soft foods (tuna and seafood) on Thursday and Friday. I did have some dessert and a few pieces of candy at a Halloween party on Saturday, but that was planned as a cheat day. Sunday, I was back to protein shakes and high protein foods. All of this while exercising every day.
Let me tell you... I feel SO much better!!! I am also down three pounds! I haven't been 214 pounds in three years so I'm pretty excited with the way things are trending on the scale. It really has given me the motivation and confidence I have been missing the past few months and I finally feel that getting under 200 pounds is a possibility for me.
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Non-Scale Victories
As mentioned previously, what isn't seen on the scale, but is just as satisfying, is when I find Non-Scale Victories or NSVs that are a testament to how far I have come:
--Things as simple as I can now fit a normal towel all the way around my body when I get out of the shower!!!
--I wasn't worried that any of the seatbelts wouldn't fit on the Six Flags rides during our anniversary trip in September.
-- But the BEST NSV actually came from someone who started coming to our gym. He told me that he read my 90 days of exercise blog post and it really resonated with him. He said it is what motivated him to get back in the gym.
I always thought it was silly when people said I was inspiring them, but in this instance I realized maybe I am making a bigger impact than I thought. Oh, and I think my heart exploded with pride at the same time.
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Progress Pics
--Another great thing that comes with this journey, is seeing how different I look in my clothes. I haven't really gotten small enough where I can't wear my clothes anymore, but they definitely fit differently. And I have some pictures below that show it.
-- I'm also including a few more transformation pictures that served as a reminder this past Saturday in my "Basic Bitch" costume for a Halloween party compared to some pics that were taken in 2013.
Notice I have a drink in my hand in both pics. That's another thing that I am taking a break from over the next month and a half. I was starting to have social drinks every other week and it really wasn't helping with my weight loss. So back to being my husband's DD for the time being. :-)
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What's Next?
Over all, I am feeling good. Though I do believe my restriction isn't quite where it should be even with the 8.5cc of saline in my band. My 7 month appointment is on Wednesday of this week and I am expecting to get another fill.
I also have signed up for my next crossfit competition and am partnering with one of my favorite people I have met since joining 573fitness-- my friend, Alexia! I am so excited to train with her over the next 6 weeks so we can reach some new PRs during the Tag Team Throwdown on December 13th in St. Peters.
Thanks for following along on my journey-- I am really just getting started!
