It's been a few weeks since I last posted and not too much has changed. I am still working out every day with today being my 128th day in a row of exercise. I also had my five-month follow up appointment a week earlier than normal and they say I have lost five pounds since my last visit.
What they don't realize is that I've been fluctuating so much that according to my calculations I've actually only lost one pound since last month. At least their scale has finally caught up to my home one.
I'm currently sitting at 220 pounds from my previous 251 when I started this journey a week under five months ago. When I started I was in the farthest obesity categorization-- Morbidly Obese. According to the BMI Scale, I am now considered Moderately Obese, in 11 pounds I will be Obese and then quite a few pounds after that, finally just Overweight.
That's what the chart says anyway. But most of us know that Body Mass Index doesn't tell the whole story. An example of this is a trainer at my gym was talking today about how she is considered overweight on the BMI scale. If you saw this woman you would know that is simply impossible. Not sure I've seen a more healthy and in shape person in my life.
So I'm not too caught up with the categorizations and I'm coming around to the idea that the number on the scale isn't everything either. Though it is something I care about... a lot.
Today, at the doctor's office, I filled out the regular paperwork asking questions about my eating habits-- what I eat, how much I eat and how often. If I'm being totally honest, I could probably have checked a few more of those boxes on the right... I realized today that I had something sweet every day this past week. That has to change. I need to get back to eating the way I was at the beginning-- limiting all sugar intake. This is necessary if I want to lose the weight I've been obsessing over in every blog post. It's time to be honest with myself and get real with my eating habits.
So I'm starting today-- A Tuesday. I'm not waiting for Monday to come around to re-start my healthy eating habits-- there is no better time to start than right this second.
My doctor agreed that I am almost to the "green zone," but that I still need more restriction to make me feel full after eating less than I have been. I received a small fill of .5 totaling 8cc in my band. I've really been able to tell a difference after the last fill so am hoping this can be my last one for a while. But we will see.
Mrs T WOD:
Also since my last post, I participated in the Mrs. T WOD event at 573fitness. I had missed registration because I didn't think I would be physically ready for it nor did I have a partner, but on Wednesday before the event a spot became available for me to compete. I was so excited and the trainers were awesome calling up people to find me a partner. They found me a great one in Lisa who met me at the gym on Thursday so we could go over all of the work outs and also test out the 1.4 mile run that includes the biggest hill in Bonne Terre. We were as ready as we were going to be on a three-day notice.
The event was incredible. I couldn't believe how many people were there (Around 150 participants!) all encouraging each other and loving this great sport. Not to mention, we were all there to support a local family who has a loved one battling cancer. Its an amazing thing when a friendly competition is accompanied by camaraderie and compassion all in the name of a good cause.
There were several instances during the day when I saw others do extraordinary acts of athleticism and I thought "I don't think I'll ever do that." But as the day went on, when I heard myself start to say that, my response turned into "Why not?"
"Why not me?"
That was a turning point for me. Not because of a certain workout or because we placed in the event(which we didn't), but there was a moment in which I finally stopped mentally limiting myself. I stopped telling myself I couldn't. I decided at that moment that I owed it to myself to continue to make myself better. That I really can do anything I want to do.
Before: I can't do pull-ups.
Now: I will do pull-ups by next year.
Before: I'm not as strong as the others.
Now: I will get stronger. And I will do extra workouts and lifts to get where I want to be.
Before: I'm never going to be under 200 pounds.
After: I will, but I'm going to stop obsessing over it. It's going to be slow, but I will get there. Just keep going.
So I guess I was wrong-- there have been some changes since my last post. I've finally decided to be my biggest fan instead of my worst critic. And that's good enough for me... for now.
